TALKING BIG PET PIG

(Wilde)

 

Well you’ve all heard the story of the BIG PET PIG

And now you want to know how he got to be so big

How he started as a tiny little half-pint squealer

And ended up bigger than an 18 Wheeler

Well, it wasn’t easy              And it didn’t happen overnight

 

Way back yonder in the olden days

People never threw anything away

Things were scarce – they used everything they had

Again and again like a worn out rag

Then the old rag picker would come around and pick up anything left over. Take it away and make it into something else. The only thing people ever wanted to get rid of was ash from their fires and they made bricks out of that

 

Then a fellow named Dorfnik came to town

And turned the whole place upside down

He said “I’m gonna build a factory

And everyone will be rich and free”

I’ll make everything you need – SHOES TEA-KETLES HAMMERS SHOVELS TOOTHBRUSHES – everything you need – and lot’s of things you don’t need

 

Folks did their shifts and collected their pay

Bought new things and threw the old away

With money in their pockets they bought more and more

But they had something new they never had before

GARBAGE – piles of it everywhere. Pretty much put the old rag picker out of business.

 

Well the mayor said to Dorfnik “we’re flush with cash

But what you gonna do about all this trash”?

Dorfnik said “what’s a little pollution?

But in any case I have the solution. I’ve got a pig

His name’s Sylvester, he may be small

But gather up your trash and he’ll eat it all

Just haul everything down to the town square tomorrow and I’ll show you what this little pig can do”

 

Well they gathered up the trash and made a big pile

Nearly ten foot high running half a mile

Sylvester said “is this all you got/”

And in five minutes flat he ate the whole lot

He rumbled a bit – doubled up in size right before their eyes and with a little burp trotted away with a smile on his face.

 

Well the people cheered and from that day on

Felt the garbage problem was forever gone

Word spread and folks from miles around

Came to watch the BIG PET PIG chow down

Often brought their garbage with them just to show their appreciation

 

In the end things didn’t turn out so well

But that’s a whole ‘nother story to tell

They left that problem for the next generation

At the time the only issue that interested the nation was

Where does a 25,000 pound pig sleep?

Pretty much anywhere he wants to