TALKING BIG PET PIG
(Wilde)
Well you’ve all heard the story of the BIG PET PIG
And now you want to know how he got to be so big
How he started as a tiny little half-pint squealer
And ended up bigger than an 18 Wheeler
Well, it wasn’t easy And it didn’t happen overnight
Way back yonder in the olden days
People never threw anything away
Things were scarce – they used everything they had
Again and again like a worn out rag
Then the old rag picker would come around and pick up anything left over. Take it away and make it into something else. The only thing people ever wanted to get rid of was ash from their fires and they made bricks out of that
Then a fellow named Dorfnik came to town
And turned the whole place upside down
He said “I’m gonna build a factory
And everyone will be rich and free”
I’ll make everything you need – SHOES TEA-KETLES HAMMERS SHOVELS TOOTHBRUSHES – everything you need – and lot’s of things you don’t need
Folks did their shifts and collected their pay
Bought new things and threw the old away
With money in their pockets they bought more and more
But they had something new they never had before
GARBAGE – piles of it everywhere. Pretty much put the old rag picker out of business.
Well the mayor said to Dorfnik “we’re flush with cash
But what you gonna do about all this trash”?
Dorfnik said “what’s a little pollution?
But in any case I have the solution. I’ve got a pig
His name’s Sylvester, he may be small
But gather up your trash and he’ll eat it all
Just haul everything down to the town square tomorrow and I’ll show you what this little pig can do”
Well they gathered up the trash and made a big pile
Nearly ten foot high running half a mile
Sylvester said “is this all you got/”
And in five minutes flat he ate the whole lot
He rumbled a bit – doubled up in size right before their eyes and with a little burp trotted away with a smile on his face.
Well the people cheered and from that day on
Felt the garbage problem was forever gone
Word spread and folks from miles around
Came to watch the BIG PET PIG chow down
Often brought their garbage with them just to show their appreciation
In the end things didn’t turn out so well
But that’s a whole ‘nother story to tell
They left that problem for the next generation
At the time the only issue that interested the nation was
Where does a 25,000 pound pig sleep?
Pretty much anywhere he wants to
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