EGGPLANT MAN

(Clarke / Wilde)

Pondering their plumpness he pokes his vegetable plants

Wondering why they take so long to grow

Rows and rows of eggplant, beans, peas, broccolini, cabbage and eggs

But where’s the growth and where are the crops he wants to know

 

The Eggplant Man lives in a land that won’t let him eat his way out

Crunch, munch, time for lunch

His flipper flapping is in frustration as the fellow flip-flops around the floor

Waddling along with those dangling side arms of his

Grunting and panting he reaches for knife and fork

Carve up the veggies to make a stew

Vegetable stew

 

Bumbling around the greenhouse humming a vegetable tune

Comes the egg-eyed, egg-head, egg shaped man

Slice and dice, add a little spice on a bed of rice

Won’t that be nice?

 

John the Rabbit secretly munching

Crunch, munch, time for lunch

His flipper flapping is frantic as the chappy chases the rabbit around the floor

Waddling along with those dangling side arms of his

Grunting and panting he reaches for knife and fork

Carve up the rabbit so he can do

Rabbity stew

 

Widdlley doo doo doo

Widdlely doo doo doo

Widdley doo woo woo woo woo woo ahh

Lumpy plumpy diddlely dumpy

Rabbit sitting on his rumpy

Laughing as the lumpy grumpy man goes by

Miffy wiffy diddlely diffy

He had the posture of a Glyffy

Giggling as the lumpy grumpy man goes passing by

 

The Eggplant Man lives in a land still won’t let him eat his way out

Waddling along with those dangling side arms of his

Grunting and panting he comes to his senses

There’s really been no point to this hoarding and wasting

There’s plenty for me and my new friend the rabbit

In fact – there’s plenty for everyone if we share – so there.