Click on song title to see lyrics
ANIMAL TALES (2014)
PLEASED TO MEET YOU (2013) 
HEY PEPITO! (2011) 
RISE AND SHINE (2010) 
PLEASED TO MEET YOU
(Clarke / Wilde)
Well I’m one, my name is John
I’m on my feet and moving on
Pleased to meet you, how do you do?
Let me introduce you to my sister Sue
Well I’m two, my name is Sue
I like to wear big pink fluffy shoes
Have a nice day and all that jive
Say hello to my cousin Clive
Well I’m five, my name is Clive
Eleven more years and I’m good to drive
Sitting in the front seat, engine revving
Let’s ride around the block and we’ll pick up Kevin
Well Alright!
Well I’m seven, my name is Kevin
Forty-eight months and I’ll be eleven
There’s someone here that you should meet
Give it up for Pet Store Pete
Well I’m eight, my name is Pet Store Pete
I like newts and parakeets
I’m nine, my name is Clementine
Looking good and feeling fine
Our gang, a hungry bunch
Breakfast good but we’re ready for lunch
Our gang, a hungry bunch
Only ten-o-clock but we’re ready for lunch
Hey mom, it’s almost noon
Sitting here looking at my fork and spoon
It’s a spork!
No, it’s a foon!
ANIMAL ALPHABET
(Wilde)
Angry alligators always arguing
Balancing bears better beware
Curious cats climbing in circles
Daredevil dogs – devil may care
Enormous elephant eating everything in sight
Flying frogs in formation
Gigantic giraffe good to go
Hilarious hippos HO HO HO
I spy an Ibex
And two jolly jumping jaguars
Kangaroos keen on kindness
Lazy lions lying about
Miserable moose morose and moody
Nautical narwhals nuzzling noses
Orbiting otters over and out
Portly pigs in position
Queenly quail quietly quivering
Rubbery rabbits rock and roll
Slippery snakes
Twin tigers twirling tricks
Unusual unicorn in his underwear
Valentine viper very volatile
Wiggly worm wiggling waggling
Excuse me Sir, have you ever seen a xenosaur?
Yakety Yak Yak Yak Yak
Zany zebras zip zap zoom
A through Z it’s so easy
A through Z sing with me
This is our animal song
Rather short, not too long
RAISED BY TROLLS
(Clarke / Wilde)
Well I just can’t seem to fit in this world
They’ve got it all wrong
Sometimes I walk into a room and just start shouting
And when they tell me to stop I’m pouting
But it’s not my fault
So don’t blame me
I was born in the forest and raised by trolls.
Gather round sit down everybody’s ready for their dinner on Sunday
But I chow down, gobble up the food from the table cause I’m hungry
Don’t use a knife or fork because I don’t know how
Don’t say please, never say thank you
It’s not my fault
So don’t blame me
I was raised in the forest and raised by trolls
Saturday morning and we’re walking round the supermarket store
Mommy bought what we needed but I still wanted her to buy more
Now here’s a perfect pile of cans if you pull out the bottom one
You know they all come tumbling down
Mommy, why the frown?
I told you it’s not my fault
It’s not my fault
I was born in the forest and raised by trolls
WANDER ROUND THE WORLD
(Wilde)
New Year’s Day in Buffalo
Five feet of snow and ten below
Looking for someplace warm to go
We caught a plane to Mexico
Landed near the Rio Grande
Met a Mariachi band
Took a nap down on the sand
Time to hit the road again
Piled into a minivan
Rumbled through the Yucatan
Crossed to border to Belize
Set sail across the Caribbean Sea.
Chorus: Wander near and far
In plane and boat and car
Bicycle and minivan
Around the world and back again
Imagination is our guide
Come on and take a ride
Join us as we wander round the world.
Suddenly we felt a pull
That old Bermuda triangle
Tried it’s best to drag us down
We started spinning round and round
It tossed us like the tilt-a-whirl
We landed south of Portugal
Paddled down the coast of Spain
Hopped aboard an eastbound train
We’ll travel through Algeria
Tunisia and Libya
In Egypt there’ll be pyramids
And camel rides and snow cones for the kids.
Chorus
BIGGA BAGGA
(Clarke / Wilde)
Bigga bagga epatopa
Half past an alligator
Rim ram bula pigga
Chippa wah refrigerator
Bigga bagga bigga bagga
Bulla pigga bigga boom
RAILROAD MEDLEY
(Traditional – arranged Clarke / Wilde)
Down at the station
Early in the morning
See the little pufferbellies
All in a row
Hear the Station Master
Pulling on the handle
Chug chug, woo woo
Here we go
Around and around and around and around and around and around …..
Little red caboose behind the train
Coming down the track
Smokestack on his back
Little red caboose behind the train
Well I’ve been working on the railroad
All the live long day
I’ve been working on the railroad
Just to pass the time away
Can’t you hear the whistle blowing?
Rise so early in the morn
I’ll be working on the railroad
‘Til Dinah blows her horn
Dinah won’t you blow
Dinah won’t you blow
Dinah won’t you blow your horn
Someone’s in the kitchen with Dinah
Someone’s in the kitchen I know o-o-o
Someone’s in the kitchen with Dinah
Strumming on the old banjo
A-singing fe-fi-fiddly-i-o
Fe-fi-fiddly-i-o-o-o-o
Fe-fi-fiddly-i-ooooooooooooo
Strumming on the old banjo.
LAZY RAISINS
(Clarke / Wilde)
Lazy raisin
Reclining in the sun
Lazy raisin
It’s time to have some fun
The day has just begun
Let’s have some fun
There’s no reason to be
Lazy raisins
Shriveling in the sun
You’ll end up overdone
Or trapped inside a sticky bun
Or packed inside a box of cereal
Don’t be such lazy raisins
Reclining in the sun
Lazy raisins it’s time to have some fun
The day has just begun
Let’s have some fun
Rub-a-dub in the sun
Lazy raisin you’re the one
KING OF THE TOWN (Wilde)
I didn’t vote in this stupid election
I couldn’t make a selection
All the candidates looked the same to me
I’m not sure what really went down
I was asleep when the ballots came ‘round
I woke up and found they’d elected me king of the town
Now I’m king
I’m king of this town
No time to mess around
‘Cause now I’ve got a job to do
I’m king
I make all the rules
I’m sitting on the jewels
Surrounded by a pack of fools
I’m king
I control the mob
I didn’t want this job
But sitting on the throne I decided
I might make a few rules of my own
Rule number one
You gotta have fun
Have a good time but just get the job done
Rule number two
You have to be true
In everything you say and everything you do
Rule number three
Go climb a tree
The higher you climb the farther you can see
Rule number four
Don’t slam the door
I don’t like loud noises, it’s time for my nap
That’s all the rules for now but when I wake up I’ll think of some more.
CONVERSATION
(Wilde)
I can’t understand a word they’re saying
I might just as well not even be listening
Maybe they’re talking about things I don’t know
Oh I wish that I could join this conversation
But I don’t know what to say
Soon a word or two becomes familiar
Now I’m listening
Hey I think I know that lady
I’ve heard people talk about her
Oh she’s wonderful
Oh no I’ve never met her
Oh I’ll never leave you
I will remain by your side
Please excuse me
I have to step outside
I think my bike is double parked
Oh yes it is, it’s standing in the street
I’m blocking everyone I hope that they’re not mad at me
Continue talking while I’m gone
Conversation rolls along
I decide to ride back to my house
I go straight home
What’s with all these bikes in my driveway?
This looks to me like a party
And I don’t recognize a soul
My house is filled with strangers
And they won’t talk to me
Won’t even say “hello”
They talk amongst themselves
I’d like to throw them out but
I just can’t say just what I mean.
I walk from room to room
I open doors and closets
(Let them know this is my house)
They all continue talking at once
Conversation rolls along.
EGGPLANT MAN
(Clarke / Wilde)
Pondering their plumpness he pokes his vegetable plants
Wondering why they take so long to grow
Rows and rows of eggplant, beans, peas, broccolini, cabbage and eggs
But where’s the growth and where are the crops he wants to know
The Eggplant Man lives in a land that won’t let him eat his way out
Crunch, munch, time for lunch
His flipper flapping is in frustration as the fellow flip-flops around the floor
Waddling along with those dangling side arms of his
Grunting and panting he reaches for knife and fork
Carve up the veggies to make a stew
Vegetable stew
Bumbling around the greenhouse humming a vegetable tune
Comes the egg-eyed, egg-head, egg shaped man
Slice and dice, add a little spice on a bed of rice
Won’t that be nice?
John the Rabbit secretly munching
Crunch, munch, time for lunch
His flipper flapping is frantic as the chappy chases the rabbit around the floor
Waddling along with those dangling side arms of his
Grunting and panting he reaches for knife and fork
Carve up the rabbit so he can do
Rabbity stew
Widdlley doo doo doo
Widdlely doo doo doo
Widdley doo woo woo woo woo woo ahh
Lumpy plumpy diddlely dumpy
Rabbit sitting on his rumpy
Laughing as the lumpy grumpy man goes by
Miffy wiffy diddlely diffy
He had the posture of a Glyffy
Giggling as the lumpy grumpy man goes passing by
The Eggplant Man lives in a land still won’t let him eat his way out
Waddling along with those dangling side arms of his
Grunting and panting he comes to his senses
There’s really been no point to this hoarding and wasting
There’s plenty for me and my new friend the rabbit
In fact – there’s plenty for everyone if we share – so there.
CHUCKERS
(Wilde)
Calling Mister Chuckers
Please come out and play
We haven’t seen that fuzzy ball
Of fluff at all today
He’s hiding in the closet now
Well let me ask you this:
What’s the point of having a cat
When you don’t know where he is?
You can scream and shout and call his name
Until his face turns blue
If you expect and answer
You’d better bring some food
Chuckers is selective in the things he sees and hears
But when you ring that dinner bell
He suddenly appears
Here comes Chuckers
Here comes Chuckers
Hear that fat cat roar
Thirty-five pounds overweight and there’s always room for more
The only time he’s sociable is when he’s being fed
Anything you got he’ll eat the lot
Anything that he can get
Chuckers will eat anything, anything that he can get
The only time he’s sociable is when he’s being fed.
CANDYMAN
(Reverend Gary Davis)
Candyman, salty dog
Candyman, salty dog
Candyman, salty dog
If you won’t be my candyman I won’t be your salty dog
Little red light, little green light
Little red light, green light
Little red light, little green light
Stop on the red and go on the green, don’t you mess with Mister In-Between
Keep your eyes open for the candyman (3X)
He’s here for a moment then he’s gone again
Keep your eyes of the candyman, keep your eyes open for the candyman
Do anything in this whole wide world just to keep that candyman home
Gingerbread man, Santa Claus
Gingerbread man, Santa Claus
Gingerbread man, Santa Claus
Gingerbread man with the raisins for the eyes gonna eat him just as fast as I can
Candyman, been here and gone
Candyman, been here and gone
Candyman, been here and gone
I wish I was in New Orleans just sitting on the candy stand.
TRONDAXX BERZERKER
(Clarke)
If you’re searching and you find a monster
Lurking in a murky dank deep dark cavernous cave
First you smell his breath and then his feet
And then you see his eyes are glowing
With an orange red blaze
He’s a monster that just wants to get his claws in
And he’s causing you to pause and think that you should run away
But you must stand and face him
Then you can chase him
Back into his cave
And show the world that you are mighty and brave
Aahhhh what’s his name?
Trondaaxx Berzerker
No one’s ever seen his face but everybody knows his name
TAKE TEN (Wilde)
I woke up on the wrong side of bed
Missed the floor and hit the ceiling
Bad luck is hanging over my head
I just can’t shake this feeling
I’m mad
I feel bad
This is the worst morning I’ve ever had
Count to ten
And start all over again.
I don’t feel any better at all in fact I’m feeling worse
This is the studpidest planet in the entire universe
It’s so dumb
It’s not fair
I’ve had enough and I just don’t care
Count to ten
And start all over again
(one) LA LA LA LA LA (two) LA LA LA not listenting (three)
Count all you want but I can’t hear a work you’re saying
(six) This is a stupid game (seven) maybe I’m to blame maybe
I should just give in and try again
Starting right now it’s all going to count
Now we’re keeping score
Ready or not you’re gonna get caught
And then we’ll play some more
Play again
And again
We’ll play again until I win
Then we’ll count to ten
And start all over again
FALLING STAR
(Wilde)
Falling star
Have you ever seen one?
Falling star
Never ever seen one
Thought I saw a falling star
It was just a passing car
Saw a twinkling in the sky
Just an airplane passing by
Make a wish on a falling star it will come true
You might just see a falling star I hope you do
Wish I may I wish I might
See a falling star tonight
Gather your wishes one and all
And we’ll wait for stars to fall
RISE AND SHINE
(Clarke / Wilde)
Rise and shine
Good morning sunny skies
Rise and shine
Time to open up your eyes
Be the first to bed and be the first to rise
It will make you healthy, wealthy, wise
The early bird always gets the worm
But I never never never never never never never never never never never never never
never never never never liked worms
Rise and Shine
It’s time to eat your worms
Rise and Shine
But do please wait your turn
I HAD A LITTLE DOG
(Wilde)
I had a little dog and he thought he was a frog
And he spent all day just perched on a log
I got a dog on a log, thinks he’s a frog
He don’t bark he just croaks
Aint no joke
I got a dog thinks he’s a frog
Sitting on a log on the banks of the bog
Well I had enough of that so I got me a cat
I named him Pat and said “catch me a rat”
Pat sat on the mat and he sat and he sat
Until he got so fat that he couldn’t catch a rat
I got a cat like a hog
I got a dog like a frog
Sitting on a log on the banks of the bog
Well it’s quite absurd but I got me a bird
And a worse songbird I never have heard
The bird can’t sing, can’t sing a thing
Screeches flat like an old tomcat
I got a bird like a cat
I got a cat like a hog
I got a dog like a frog
Sitting on a log on the banks of the bog.
Well you won’t believe this but I got me a fish
I put him a bowl, in a goldfish bowl
And bless my soul he jumped out of the bowl
I put him back in and he jumped out again
Thinks he can fly and I don’t know why
I got a fish like a bird
I got a bird like a cat
I got a cat like a hog
I got a dog like a frog
Sitting on a log on the banks of the bog
Well I felt like a fool so I got me a mule
I put her in the shed out back by the pool
The mule was a jewel, tried to stay cool
Spent all day just a-swimming in the pool
I got a mule like a fish
I got a fish like a bird
I got a bird like a cat
I got a cat like a hog
I got a dog like a frog
Sitting on a log on the banks of the bog
Well I was running out of luck so I got me a duck
Mighty fine duck, cost ten bucks
I put her in the pool to hang out with the mule
They became close friends that’s how the song ends
You can’t be what you’re not so be proud of what you’ve got
I got a fish like a bird
I got a bird like a cat
I got a cat like a hog
I got a dog like a frog
I got a duck and a mule swimming in the pool
They all get along now, everything’s cool
FAVORITE NAMES
(Clarke / Wilde)
Jimmy Jack John Joe Jeremy James
These are a few of my favorite names
These are a few of his favorite names
Jimmy Jack John Joe Jeremy James
(One more time)
Jimmy Jack John Joe Jeremy James
These are a few of my favorite names
These are a few of his favorite names
Jimmy Jack John Joe Jeremy James
(What about the girls?)
Janet Joan Julia Jennifer Jane
These are more of my favorite names
These are more of his favorite names
Janet Joan Julia Jennifer Jane
(En Español)
Jorge Julio Juan Juanito
Esos son mis nombres favoritos
Esos son mis nombres favoritos
Jorge Julia Juan Juanito
(et maintenant én Francais)
Jean-Paul Juliette Jacques Georges Jim
Voila quelques uns des mes noms favoris
Ses noms favoris voila quelques uns
Voila quelques uns des mes noms favoris
What’s your favorite name?
What’s your favorite name?
Does it begin with the letter ‘J’?
JOHN THE RABBIT
Traditional (arranged by Clarke/Wilde) Additional original verses by Key Wilde and Richard Clarke
John the Rabbit
Had a mighty habit
Getting in my garden
Cutting down my cabbage
My sweet potatoes
My red tomatoes
If I live
To see next fall
I ain’t gonna have
No garden at all
Ralph the raccoon
Underneath a full moon
Getting in my attic
Causing lots of static
Chewing on the wires
Gonna start a fire
If I live
To see next fall
I ain’t gonna have
No attic at all
Mac the monkey
Smelling mighty funky
Getting in my closet
Trying all my clothes on
My silk pajamas
With the purple llamas
If I live
To see next fall
I ain’t gonna have
No closet at all
No home at all
BIG PET PIG
(Clarke / Wilde) based on the traditional Irish tune “Big Strong Man”
Have you heard about the big pet pig?
He’s bigger than a four-ton rig
Have you heard about the junk he tried to eat?
My word what a heck of a feat
You can take all the garbage that you’ve got
(What you got?)
Got a pig who will eat the whole lot
(Big lot!)
He used to be a half pint squealer
Now he’s bigger than an 18-Wheeler
He’s a big boy, Sylvester
Got a row of forty medals on his chest (Big chest!)
Best in show throughout the west
He knows no rest
Bigger the pig
Oink oink
Don’t push
Just shove
Plenty room for you and me
He’s got a flank like a tank
And a snout that could sink a battleship
It will take all the boys and girls
To catch this pig
He thought he’d take a trip to Italy
(How’d he go?)
He thought that he’d go by sea
(Big sea!)
He jumped off the harbor in New York
And he sank like a porker from Cork
Up to the surface came his snout
And he bellowed like a blue whale spout
He drank all the water in the sea
And he walked all the way to Italy
He’s a big boy, Sylvester
Got a row of forty medals on his chest (Big chest!)
Best in show throughout the west
He knows no rest
Bigger the pig
Oink oink
Don’t push
Just shove
Plenty room for you and me
Flank, tank
Breath that could sink a battleship
It will take all the boys and girls
To catch Big Pig Sylvester
THE RATTLING CAN
(Clarke / Wilde) Based on the traditional Irish tune “The Rattling Bog”
(CHORUS) O Ro the rattling can
The can down on the avenue
O Ro the rattling can
The can down on the avenue
In that can there was a box
A rare box, a rattling box
The box in the can
And the can down on the avenue
(CHORUS)
In that box there was a bag
A rare bag a rattling bag
The bag in the box
And the box in the can
And the can down on the avenue
(CHORUS)
In that bag there was a bottle
A rare bottle, a rattling bottle
The bottle in the bag
And the bag in the box
And the box in the can
And the can down on the avenue
(CHORUS)
In that bottle there was some juice
Rare juice, rattling juice
The juice in the bottle
And the bottle in the bag
And the bag in the box
And the box in the can
And the can down on the avenue
(CHORUS)
In that juice there were some bubbles
Rare bubbles, rattling bubbles
The bubbles in the juice
And the juice in the bottle
And the bottle in the bag
And the bag in the box
And the box in the can
And the can down on the avenue
(CHORUS)
In those bubbles there was some gas
Rare gas, rattling gas
The gas in the bubbles
And the bubbles in the juice
And the juice in the bottle
And the bottle in the bag
And the bag in the box
And the box in the can
And the can down on the avenue
(CHORUS)
In that gas there were some atoms
Rare atoms, rattling atoms
The atoms in the gas
And the gas in the bubbles
And the bubbles in the juice
And the juice in the bottle
And the bottle in the bag
And the bag in the box
And the box in the can
And the can down on the avenue
(CHORUS)
In those atoms were some protons
Rare protons, rattling protons
The protons in the atoms
And the atoms in the gas
And the gas in the bubbles
And the bubbles in the juice
And the juice in the bottle
And the bottle in the bag
And the bag in the box
And the box in the can
And the can down on the avenue
(CHORUS)
In those protons was some quark
Rare quark, rattling quark
The quark in the protons
And the protons in the atoms
And the atoms in the gas
And the gas in the bubbles
And the bubbles in the juice
And the juice in the bottle
And the bottle in the bag
And the bag in the box
And the box in the can
And the can down on the avenue
(CHORUS)
18 WHEELER
(Clarke / Wilde)
I’m an 18-Wheeler, rolling up the road
I’m an 18-Wheeler, heavy heavy 10-ton load
If you like trucks, you’re in luck, we’ll be friends today 18 wheels
I’m an 18-Wheeler, 53 foot long
Semi-articulated, big red lorry, big black tires
2 in front, 8 in the middle, 8 in the back
That’s 18 wheels
I’m an 18-Wheeler, running late
Put my foot down pedal to the metal and hit the interstate Windshield wipers slapping
and mud-flaps flapping
Rushing, pushing, gotta make time
18 wheels
Nothing can make me stop, nothing can make me stop
Except a red light, stop sign, road-work, police check Truck stop open late & traffic
jams (and the price of gas)
But apart from that, nothing can make me stop
Nothing can make me stop
Except cows crossing, tires shredding, weigh stations Friends in need of help
I just keep rolling and rolling and rolling and rolling
And rolling on
We’re all 18-Wheelers, but don’t just stand and stare
Join the convoy rolling thunder headed over there
We might burn rubber, make wide turns
But we’ll never cut you off
We’re just looking for some fuels
That don’t pollute the earth
Pure bio-diesel or blended, even ethanol
Or water for our 18 wheels
Nothing will make us stop (stop)
Nothing will cut us off (off)
Oh no, no way
We’ll just keep rolling on
GOING TO THE MOON
(Wilde)
We’re going to the moon
In a red balloon
Straight up to the moon
If we’re going to the moon
Then we’d better leave soon
Do you want to come too?
Say yes if you do
Then were going to the stars
In a brand new car
All the way to the stars
We’ll have to drive far
All the way to the stars
In a brand new car
Yes we’re going to the stars
Then we’re going to the zoo
In a little canoe
Just me and you in a little canoe
Paddle down to the zoo
In a little canoe
Do you want to come too?
Say yes if you do
Then we’re going to Spain
In a big airplane
Fly all the way to Spain
It’s a mighty long flight
Gonna take us all night
Then we’ll land in Spain
In a big airplane
Anyplace you want to go
Just let me know
I want to come too
Just me and you
When I’m with you
Anyplace will do
Anyplace you want to go
Just let me know
ONE FAT FROG
(Wilde)
One fat frog sitting on a log
In the cool damp shade on the banks of the deep black bog
On the deep black bog
Two sly cats wearing pork pie hats
Came knocking on the door to the home of the wise old rat
He was a wise old rat
Don’t open up the door, you’d better run and hide
Mr. Rat knows better than to let two cats inside
Don’t let the cats inside
Three chimpanzees were collecting fleas
So they opened up a shop on the top of a coconut tree
To try and sell their fleas
Come down please you silly chimpanzees
Nobody wants to climb up trees just to shop for fleas
Those silly chimpanzees
Four big baggy elephants with long skinny trunks
Playing games in the park after dark with the neighborhood skunks
Those stinky neighborhood skunks
Well it’s always fun to play with skunks
But the elephants better remember to hold their trunks
When they play with skunks
Five old crows wearing bright red bows
Sat perched in a row at the tip of the dinosaur’s nose
Or so the story goes
But when the dinosaur sneezed believe you me
Those crows were scattered like leaves from a falling tree
It was a sight to see
Six Billy Goats wearing cashmere coats
Set out to cross the deep wide moat in a paper boat
Six goats in a boat
But the boat wouldn’t float so there are six wet goats
In the middle of the moat clinging on to their cashmere coats
Soggy cashmere coats
Seven portly pigs wearing bright blue wigs
Met at half past nine to dine on a plate of figs
Seven pigs eating figs
But by nine thirty-six there were no more figs
Just seven hungry grumpy pigs wearing silly wigs
They nearly flipped their wigs
Eight red ants took a trip to France
A holiday to laugh sing play and dance
They went to France to dance
Eight red ants danced the night away
Under bright white lights on the Champs-Élysées
They danced the night away
Nine kangaroos wearing hi-top shoes
Came bouncing up and down through the town of Kalamazoo
In their hi-top shoes
They bounced up and down all through the town
Around and around, over under sideways down
Up and down through the town
Ten raccoons sing a counting tune
Strumming on their old guitars underneath the stars
And a pale blue moon
They count all the way from one to ten
When the get to the end they’ll start all over again
Counting one to ten
PEKEPOO
(Wilde / Clarke)
Pekepoo (It’s raining)
Pekepoo (It’s raining)
Pekepoo (It’s raining)
Pekepoo (It’s raining)
A poodle and a Pekinese
When they have puppies
We’ll call them Pekepoos
According to the weatherman
It’s going to rain again
And it might rain cats and dogs
Pekinese and Siamese
Cats will often make you sneeze
If you have allergies
So do be careful please
It might rain cats and dogs
But never bats and frogs
Or skunks and polliwogs
If I were a poodle I’d go and find
A pretty little Pekinese and share some time
We’d fall in love so sweet and true
And raise ourselves a pack of Pekepoos
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